the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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