all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize