That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We need to feng shui this bitch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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