are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
