are you still at the devil's house?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
