I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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