Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
