a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize