R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
