Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
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WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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