there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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