So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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