we're blogging at a bar
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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