i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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