yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
