Will you blow on my dice?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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