I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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