Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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