His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
