I think I died a long time ago.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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