I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
