it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
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