You can't special order awesome
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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