i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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