i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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