To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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