nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
