i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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