I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
