the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
