never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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