When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
