Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
