Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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