I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
