Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
