dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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