Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need water and some morals
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
