I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize