Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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