just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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