she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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