I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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