I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
