that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
be right there i have to get my cape
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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