so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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