So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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