Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
