Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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