I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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