i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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