He had one of those small greek statue penises
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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