I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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